'He's fat!' Trump says no to slob soldiers at UFC White House
Reality TV show rules apply. Know your role. Pay your own way.
The King of McDonald’s reportedly has an ultimatum to anyone in the US military who wants to attend the UFC White House: short and fat people need not apply.
That privilege is for Steven Cheung, who is busy mudslinging with the political pigs.
The man who famously served $5,500 in fast food to college football champions Clemson Tigers and worked a Pennsylvania McDonald’s drive thru in 2024 to show that he’s a man of the American people is reportedly having Pete Hegseth at the Pentagon put out the word about his casting call rules for UFC White House.
This Washington Post headline on Friday tells the story:
If there was ever a headline that perfectly summed up both US President Donald J. Trump and The Kings of Hollywood at TKO, this would be it.
Just like UFC fighters who get limited your-fight-only tickets at the APEX warehouse and WWE talent who reportedly pay for their own tickets to attend events, American soldiers will have to pay their own way to see the circus at UFC White House.
Ari Emanuel & Mark Shapiro view WWE & UFC content through the lens of filming a live Hollywood action movie in a ring or cage as the sound stage. If talent wants to get pushed, they'd better look the part, have a huge social media following, and work for below-market value.
Image is everything. It’s a surface-level version of Vince McMahon’s old “airport test” in judging the social appeal of wrestlers. If you can walk through an airport and stand out like an attraction, you always had a chance of keeping your job in WWE.
As for the powers-that-be in the Trump 2.0 White House, they might be fat or stressed out, but they don’t want to hang around anyone who is just as fat or fatter. Misery loves company. You have to look the part. It’s why Trump was always obsessed with Chris Christie and his red button Diet Coke jokes. It’s why Trump always hired the hottest attorneys, not the most experienced or qualified (or reportedly ethical). It’s why Trump loves hiring telegenic personalities to represent him in government, like current US Department of Defense head Pete Hegseth.
Yes, Mr. Hegseth is a former soldier with bronze stars from tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan. However, he won significant favor with President Trump because of his appeal as a morning host for Fox and Friends. One of the raison d’etres for Hegseth’s existence at DOD is to change the image of American soldiers worldwide and fire the fat generals with numerous stars on their chests.
In October of 2025, Texas Governor Greg Abbott sent members of the Texas National Guard to Chicago to help President Trump with security over an ICE detention facility. Instead of saying thanks, Pete Hegseth sent some of those Texans packing back home because they were filmed on camera for being too fat.
The image that disgusts Trump, his cabinet, and many Republican voters is that of out-of-shape Washington DC FBI employees kneeling in honor of George Floyd.
The edict: Have American soldiers look as menacing as soldiers at a Chinese Victory Day of Parade or Moscow Victory Day of Parade marching for Putin. \
Remember Trump’s 2025 military parade in Washington DC — on his birthday? Now he’s getting a do-over on his 80th birthday with a much larger spectacle of public interest: UFC White House.
No fat soldiers allowed. According to the publication Military, this isn’t exactly a new policy in Trumpworld. Right before the President’s 2025 Washington DC parade, soldiers at Fort Bragg were reportedly scouted for on-camera appearances based on their looks.
When Donald Trump criticizes fat people, the President thinks he’s cutting a promo like Scott Steiner.
The same people in the Trump administration who were laser-focused on soldiers losing their jobs over not taking the COVID vaccine perhaps wish they could inject a bunch of GLP-1 shots to lower some BMI numbers. I’m sure our favorite President could find a way to cash in on Novo Nordisk stock and options.
Oh, look over there. President Trump reportedly bought some TKO stock recently. That’s the shiny laser pointer the American media will chase. It’s their permission slip to talk about a previously existing narrative of Trump family greed and prevarication, but only in a modified limited hangout. Just as long as you don’t say Ari Emanuel’s name and role in this Trump 2.0 White House, everyone’s cool.
That’s the running punchline. The Great Pretending. President Trump, who hates fat people, is a fast-food addict. Dana White, who struggles to make Instagram videos announcing upcoming UFC fights, is suddenly one of America’s actively great and true visionaries.
Dana White, our favorite brand ambassador, is large and in charge at UFC, according to a flood of mainstream media interviews and NPR podcasts over the last month, despite Mr. White’s admitting under oath in Judge Richard Boulware’s courtroom that he has only a limited day-to-day role at the UFC.
What’s the big deal? What’s your problem?
Hey, nobody is getting hurt by having this wonderful celebration on Donald Trump’s 80th birthday at the UFC White House event. This is all about having pride in America, right?
If the organizers truly believed the public bought into that spin, Endeavor wouldn’t be spending so much time curating a brand-new Zuffa Myth. No, not the one about the previous UFC ownership inventing the Unified Rules and “cleaning up” the sport and introducing weight classes and running towards regulation.
This brand new Zuffa Myth, largely unquestioned by mainstream media in 2026, is that Dana White and Donald Trump were always bros who supported each other.
“You can’t tell the story of UFC’s rise without Trump.”
Perfectly timed, Lavie Margolin recently wrote a book separating fact from fiction on this supposedly real bromance.
The overarching point of this political and branding exercise is to justify a UFC White House event that will require a whole lot of taxpayer cash spent deploying government assets for security to protect the fighters, politicians, celebrities, and rich donors who will be in attendance for Trump’s birthday bash on the White House lawn.
Trump has built a lifetime fortune on pushing visual persuasion. Fat people are losers who demonstrate little self-respect. Everything gold-plated signifies an excess of wealth. If you build it, they will come. Trump understands the number one principle of the fight business. Put on the circus and watch everyone flock to it. You can obsess over a data room or elevator pitch a boardroom on your next big business concept; in the end, humans flock to fights like moths flying toward an open flame.
The thing is, people aren’t all that into this UFC White House event. Yet.
The gamble is that visual persuasion will take over. The gamble is that the power of Ari Emanuel & his minister of finance Egon Durban (Silver Lake) will steamroll the public into persuading them to subscribe to Paramount Plus to watch this circus. For Larry & David Ellison’s sake, they better hope that’s the case.
Never gamble against TKO under this current Trump Administration. Despite four significant headwinds that will eventually crash this political party, the UFC & WWE machine is firing on all cylinders. TKO had a blockbuster weekend in Monterrey with the El Grande Americano mask vs. mask match and their Clash in Italy event with a red-hot crowd.
UFC White House represents the perfect distillation of the concentration of American political power and financial wealth. The level of back-scratching between Donald Trump, Ari Emanuel, and Larry Ellison is something we truly have never seen at this kind of size and scope.
Have you noticed the number one talking point about UFC White House isn’t about the actual fight card itself?
As the hype machine for the White House fights ramps up next week, a lot of people who are currently skeptical or neutral about this event — like Joe Rogan — will suddenly find themselves facing an urge to cheerlead something they initially didn’t care about or were repulsed by.
Fall in line… and don’t get fat.
That’s the power of TKO. That’s the power of bread and circuses.
“Life is a gimmick, if you think about it, right? But it’s a good gimmick. It’s something that will never happen again.”
Zach Arnold is a lead opinion writer for The MMA Draw on Substack. His archives can be read at FightOpinion.com. Contact Zach: fightopinion at protonmail dot com.
This shouldn't be read as support for this event, but I know most people haven't served and don't have much context for this stuff. Service members must generally be within height/weight and fitness compliance to represent the military in uniform at public events.
In the Army, the policy is is AR 600-9. It applies to all kinds of stuff. You can't get promoted, go to school, reenlist or accept an award if you don't meet the height/weight standards.
We've yet to reach the Zenith (Nadir?) of this Idiocracy... But we're getting closer to it, every day...